That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Text me some of your sweat
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
