Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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