I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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