God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize