The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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