On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
