there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
