Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
