She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
