He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize