Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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