dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
