Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
