was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
