Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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