if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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