he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
