i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
