READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
