Pants 0. Shit 1.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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