remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
