1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
