I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
