never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
