Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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