ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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