he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
