He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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