I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
