Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
