people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
