That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
