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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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