I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
