I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
