My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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