Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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