I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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