She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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