He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
