Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
