So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
