paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
