why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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