mondays should just be called national damage control day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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