I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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