I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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