dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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