Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize