Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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