shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
