Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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