Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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