so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
As shirtless as possible
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
