Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I did not marry a roomba.
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