I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize