ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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