he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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