i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
