a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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