We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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