yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
