Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. Iām going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
