I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
