I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
