just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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